One fabulous Thinker

  As I've been reflecting on the couples I've had the privilege of counseling, listening to, and advising, one word kept coming to mind. Performance. Not because every couple was performing. Not because what people show is fake. But because I kept thinking about how easy it is for any of us to become more invested in how something looks than in what it actually is. It reminded me of those real estate home tours. You walk into a house, and everything is pristine. The floors are spotless. The counters are clear. The furniture is perfectly placed. The realtor walks you through, pointing out every feature: the beautiful kitchen, the upgrades, the spacious rooms. For a little while, you can imagine your life there. You picture your family around that table. You imagine holidays in that kitchen. You see yourself on that porch. You're not just looking at a house. You're imagining a life. But even while you're enjoying the tour, you know something. Looking at a beautifully ...