Healing Backward Through Love

 

Dear Mama,

I see you.

I see you learning to truly see your children—their moods, their needs, their little personalities—because you know what it feels like to be invisible. You're making sure they never wonder if they matter, since you spent too long wondering if you did.

I see you listening to their stories, their complaints, their endless questions—really listening—because you remember what it felt like when no one heard you. When your words dissolved into the air. When you learned to stay quiet because speaking felt pointless.

I see you believing them when they're hurt or scared, or when they tell you what happened. You give the gift you were denied: certainty that their truth matters, that they don't have to prove their reality.

I see you loving them loudly and unconditionally, because you know the ache of love with strings attached, or love you had to guess at. You're making sure they never have to wonder.

I see you practicing patience with their mistakes, mess, and slowness—even when exhausted—because you remember the sting of impatience and being made to feel like a burden.

I see you being gracious with their imperfections and big feelings, because you needed the same. You're teaching them that being flawed doesn't mean being unworthy.

I see you protecting them—their bodies, their peace, their innocence—in ways you weren't protected. You're the guardian they needed, standing watch so they can simply be children.

I see you encouraging them to try, to dream, to take up space—because you know what it's like to be told to shrink. You say yes to their bigness because someone should have said yes to yours.

I see you inspiring them to believe in themselves, to trust their instincts, to know they're capable. No one reflected that certainty back to you. You're becoming the mirror you needed.

And here's what I want you to know: Everything you do for your children—every time you give them what you didn't have—you're not just healing them. You are also healing yourself. This is the heart of it: your loving, patient, intentional parenting is a gift to your children and a pathway to your own healing, echoing backward through time to the little girl you were.

She needed to be seen. She needed to be heard. She needed someone to believe her, love her, be patient with her, protect her, and encourage her. She needed to know she could inspire and be inspired.

Now, through your children, you give her all of that. You are re-parenting yourself as you parent them. This isn't just motherhood—it is transformation. It's generational healing in real time.

Some days it will be hard. Some days their needs will crack you open, and you'll feel everything you didn't get. Some days you'll mess up because you're human, because you're doing something you were never taught.

You are doing something profound. You're breaking the cycle and creating a new, empowered story for yourself and your children. This is the actual change you are making—changing the present and the past.

And that little girl inside you? She's so proud of who you've become.

With deep respect and love,

Someone who sees you both—the mother you are and the child you were