Devotional: I want to trust You… but I don’t

Scripture: 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.' 
 Proverbs 3:5

I wish I could say I always trust God easily.

But if I'm being honest… There are days I say, "I trust You, Lord."
And my heart is still holding on tight to fear.

There are moments I've prayed with my mouth,
but wrestled with doubt.

And maybe you've been there too.

That quiet place where you love God…
But you're still anxious about what He hasn't fixed yet.

Where you're believing…
but still checking, worrying, overthinking, trying to help Him out.

And your real prayer sounds more like:

"Lord, I want to trust You… but I don't know how right now.”

What I've learned is this:

God is not offended by my honesty.

He is not asking me to pretend I'm strong when I feel weak.
He is not asking me to fake peace when I feel overwhelmed.

He is asking me to come close—even in the tension.

Because trust isn't loud confidence all the time.
Sometimes trust is just staying in His hands when everything in you wants to pull away.

There have been seasons where I didn't feel strong enough to trust Him with everything.

But I kept showing up anyway.

Kept praying anyway.
Kept worshiping anyway.
Kept saying, "Lord, I don't understand—but I'm still here."

And slowly… I realized something:

God was holding me even when my grip on Him was shaky.

If that's you today, I just want to remind you—you're not alone in that struggle.

You're not less spiritual because your trust is in process.
You're not failing because you're still learning how to surrender.

You're growing in real faith. The kind that is built in the middle of uncertainty.

So today, I'm not going to tell you to have perfect trust.

I'm just going to invite you into an honest prayer:

"God, I want to trust You… but I need You to help me. Meet me where my faith feels weak."

And I believe He does exactly that.

Not with pressure.
But with presence.

Reflection:

What am I still trying to control that God is asking me to place in His hands?

Prayer:

Lord, You see me right where I am. You see the places I trust You fully… and the places I still struggle to let go. I don't want to fake it with You. I want real faith, even if it's messy. Teach me how to trust You in the middle, not just at the end. Hold me steady when my heart feels uncertain. Amen.